1. #1

    Memories (selbergeschrieben)

    Im Englischunterricht haben wir die aufgabe bekommen eine tiefgründige Kurzgeschichte zu schreiben. Das kam dabei heraus...

    The girl is the only one in the world.
    That made her the god of this world.
    She did not need to know why.
    And besides, the girl never wondered why because
    she had been there before she realized.
    She found herself on an island when she
    began to understand things around her.
    The island was small, and one could
    go around it in half a day by foot.
    All she could see at the beach the ocean, the sky,
    clouds and the horizon streching as far
    as she could see in a 360-degree view.
    There was a mansion on the island.
    There were a huge amont of preserved foods and daily
    necessities inside the warehouse of the castle,
    so she did not have to starve.
    There were tons of books wich she couldn't finish
    reading, even if she spent her whole life.
    They contained everything in this world.
    The stories written in the books were all about people.
    People cannot live alone.
    There were many books with that written in them.
    However, the girl was alone.
    Laughing, crying, things that were previously
    of value, none of them were needed.
    They were finished. They were completed.
    The girl was the first 'average' person in human history.
    The average of the statistics is exactly
    the same as the sum of herself.
    That's why everything she does is correct.
    And at the same time, everything could be wrong.

    The girl began to paint.
    Books, musical instruments, pictures.
    Among those things, it was the tool that's
    most likely to create a human.
    But it didn't go well.
    She got tired of it many times.
    It didn't matter anyway, even if she got tired of it.
    When the season changed, she had enough.
    She finished the painting before long.
    She found out that she was more suited
    for drawing realistic scenes.
    As long as she was able to draw something
    that looked like it, it was fine.
    Something that didn't exist there.
    Drawing humans might be something hard to do.
    That'S what she thought.

    One day, the girl tried to light a fire on the beach.
    Because there was an episode in a book about a person
    who lit a signal fire after being stranded on an island.
    A white line rose up to the deep blue sky.
    She thought, 'What's this thing that's just like
    a cloud?' and she put her face near it.
    Her eyes and throat hurt badly.
    She backed off in confusion and
    gazed at it from distance.
    She understood that it was useless.
    Likewise, she began to understand one thing after another.
    She understood what 'understanding' meant.

    She painted a human being.
    She painted a boy.
    So, she decided to add a figure of a boy into
    paintings of landscapes she had painted.
    She put up those paintings in the same
    places where she painted them.
    There was not a single place on
    the island she did not paint.
    The girl was with the boy everywhere.
    It meant that the girl and the boy looked at each
    other every time she looked at the paintings.
    But the girl had no feeling of achievement.
    'Would it be a human?' She thought.
    No. This was the painting of a human being.
    He did not move. He did not think. He was simply there.
    Finally, she could ask herself by finding
    the word. She was not lonely.

    The girl began to look at the painting a lot.
    When she stared at the boy in the painting,
    she had a strange feeling.
    'Let's marry.' She somehow had that idea.
    In the books, there were an unusual number
    of stories relating to a marriage.
    It was described as something important in people's lives.
    She began to study the marriage system in detail.

    The girl married on the next day.
    She found a dress in the castle.
    She pretended to ask herself, 'Do you vow to marry?'
    in her mind, and she pretended to answer 'yes.'
    And then she kissed the boy in the painting.
    It tasted like oil.
    She threw the flowers that she picked as a bouquet.
    She prepared a bigger meal than usual.
    It was a party after all.
    But she had leftovers, because the dress
    was too tight around the hips.
    The girl tossed the bouquet, the dress, and the leftovers
    to the bottom of the dump site and went to sleep.
    And thus the wedding ceremony was over.

    The girl started drawing self-portraits
    the day after the wedding ceremony.
    Even though she was married, there
    was no one except her in her world.
    That's why she put herself into the paintings.
    The girl put herself into all the paintings.
    In that world beyond, the two of
    them were laughing together.
    Looking at herself in the paintings, she felt strange.
    The girl couldn't really understand that feeling.
    Nevertheless, it continued to attract the girl's interest.
    The girl is only one in the world.
    That made her the God of this world.

    Something mysterious happened.
    The two in those paintings had moved.
    The god looked inside the paintings.
    The two in the pictures seemed to be
    having fun, smiling at each other.
    But the paintings were blurred.
    The world itself appeared blurred.
    Why, the girl thought.
    A strange feelung developed in her mind.
    She could not describe what it was.
    She wondered why the paintings became blurred,
    even though she painted them so clearly.
    The two in the paintings were smiling at each other.
    That was what she felt.
    She repainted them.
    She repainted them over and over.
    But the results were exactly the same.
    She was at a loss.
    She began to be unsure of everything.
    The girl is the only one in the world.
    That made her the god of this world.
    So she thought she should make her world much cleaner.
    She burned all pictures.
    She set fire to the mansion and the old castle.
    Along with the structures, she burned all her memories.
    Lastly, the God threw the trash, the only
    trash left in the world, out from the cliff.

  2. #2
    Tay ist offline Männlich
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    Mhhh ... jo alles klar^^

    Wie steh'n die Chancen, dass ihr auch noch die Aufgabe kriegt, das ganze zusammenzufassen?^^
    Ma Baker ...

  3. #3
    Zitat Zitat von Tay
    Mhhh ... jo alles klar^^

    Wie steh'n die Chancen, dass ihr auch noch die Aufgabe kriegt, das ganze zusammenzufassen?^^
    Es soll eine Kurzgeschichte sein. Das ist schon die richtige länge. Bitte nächstes mal nur antworten wenn ihr dazu auch eine eigene Meinung beziehungsweise Stellungnahme liefern könnt. Ich bin für jede Kritik offen, aber die Länge spielt bei dieser Art von Texten weniger eine Rolle, mehr der Inhalt zählt und wie man diesen interpretiert.

  4. #4
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    42 (in 24 Beiträgen)

    AW: Memories (selbergeschrieben)

    Ich find die Geschichte gut und trotzdem verständlich geschrieben, an die Regeln einer Kurzgeschichte hast du dich auch gehalten. Und ich find die Idee auch interessant und originell. Was soll ich groß schreiben, ich mag sie
    Der Jabberwock mit Aug entflammt
    und Krallgepack und Zahngefletsch.
    Geb auf den Jabberwock wohl acht
    und den frumlich Bandersnatch.

    Er hält das Vorpalschwert am Griff,
    die Klinge schneidet Stück für Stück
    es fließt ganz rot, es riecht nach Tod
    Er kehrt mit seinem Kopf zurück.



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